What does this mean? The rainbow has been used so often in popular culture to symbolize childish things or simply color. Does it have a deeper meaning? The LGBT community certainly thinks so. They have taken it to be a symbol of love for them. A symbol of pride in who they are. It has been transformed into a gay pride symbol. But the christian community also has another meaning for it. It is a symbol of promise. It is a symbol of love from God. It is a symbol of being with us. Many Christians I know are so mad at the LGBT community taking the rainbow from them. "The rainbow is supposed to be a symbol of God, not of sin" they say. So which is it? Is the rainbow a symbol of God and his marvelous love or a symbol of gay pride? While I will probably never be able to answer that question for you, for me it is a symbol of both. Allow me to explain.
When I see a rainbow I see love pouring down. I see faith move mountains. I see a promise from God that He will always be with me. I see a promise from God that He knows the plans I have for me. But I also see an integral part of me. A representation of who I love. A representation of something I am. I see homosexuality. How can these both exist? How can I live in the tension between these two things? But more importantly how can I be joyful and in love with both of these parts of me?
I am gay. I don't really know how to explain how I know this other than I have always known. I never decided to be this way. What I decided was to stop pretending. I see a woman who I like and not only see a beautiful amazing creature but also someone who I want to develop a relationship with. I have never felt this way about a man for any of my life. But I am also a christian. I love God with all my life. I am a believer in Jesus' sacrifice. I hold fast to the word of God in all things. I believe that God's word is the Holy standard. God is the most important thing in my life. I believe that God is more than enough for me and I want to devote my life to His service out of the amazing love He has for me.
I believe that the Bible clearly calls homosexual relationships a sin throughout the Bible. I believe that the heart is deceitful beyond all things. I believe that we are never tempted without a way out. I believe that sin is punishable by death. I believe that Jesus covered the sin of all on the cross and is simply waiting for us to accept that gift. I believe that salvation is not a license to sin. I believe that each of God's laws is there to protect us and care for us. I believe that God has the best plan out there for us who love Him.
But I also believe that homosexuality isn't a curse for me. While it is difficult, it is truly a blessing in my life. It is terrifying to know that for some reason God doesn't want me to be in an intimate relationship with another human being, but it is also amazing to know that God wants to be that for me. It is devastating to think that my only chance of a normal life with a family is maybe if I pray really hard for God to take away this thing. But it is such a blessing to know that God has something even more planned for me. It is scary knowing that I align with the LGBT community and therefore will receive all the hate that comes with that, but it is amazing to know that God is sending me there to share the love of God, not matter the sexuality of a person.
It is devastating to know that I will be treated as if I have "the plague" within the christian community, but I am not trying to change this. I am proud to be a lesbian! I am proud that God has given me this opportunity to share His love. I am excited to see how He will use this desire for His good. I have no idea what this ministry will look like but I am waiting with anticipation. I know that God is enough for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment