Sharknado

ALS is hard. I have plenty of friends who have lost someone but it is not the same. ALS is watching someone died more and more every day. It's not a surprise or a fight. It's just a new hell evryday. This may be my second Christmas without my dad, but in reality, Christmas has been a new kind of hell for the past four years.

Christmas 2013 came and dad had trouble walking. I don't remember if we knew what was going on or not but I remember being afraid. Helping dad get around and facing the reality that he had just had to leave his job (or would soon have to) due to this debilitating illness. Why does money have to always make the holidays stressful?

That evening my brother got a call (or text) inviting him and the rest of their band (Valley of Tomorrow) over to watch a movie. That night Sharknado was born. It was just a few close friends watching a movie and enjoying time together. Importantly for me, it was an escape.

Christmas 2014 was different. It was the last Christmas with my dad and we all knew it. When we went down to Christmas dinner with my grandparents it was hell trying to get him in and out of the car. My grandpa built a ramp to get him into the house. We fed him what little he could eat and while we were happy to be together, it hurt so bad. I remember thinking "What on earth do you get a dying man for Chrisrmas?" Pretty sure I settled on some movies for him to watch.

I don't remember if it was planned or not, but that evening after the hour of helping my father use the restroom, we desperately needed a relief. So Sharknado happened again. We exchanged gifts and watched a movie and enjoyed time with friends. It was nice. We all came together with love.

2015 was the first Christmas without my dad. It had only been 4 months and it was a sad, quiet Christmas. Our friend invited us to Christmas dinner and it was weird but distracting in a good way. And I know the immense love that those friends have for us in including us in their Christmas traditions. That year, Sharknado was the most important of all.

Our family was shattered but Sharknado was filled with joy. A bunch of kids who loved each other and shared in life together getting together to form a new family based on this love. It is the most amazing thing to see. There were new Marriages, new relationships, and new opportunities. But we got together and nothing mattered but the love we had for each other.

(I am using love in the form of friendship in all of this)

Now christmas 2016 is rolling in and it's still so strange. We are all adults trying to figure out what Christmas looks like now. Where do we go from here and how can we begin to understand what Christmas means in our hearts. While the Egan family navigates this, each other Sharknado family is navigating something new. The Bussians have a brand new baby. The Leyvas are navigating a new marriage. We are all trying to figure out what Christmas looks like now.

But we still have Sharknado. Even if it looks different. We still have a strong love for each other that helps is through these times. As we come together for Sharknado this year let's forget about the hardships for a few minutes and remember the meaning of Christmas and the meaning of friendship.

For a sorrow shared is half a sorrow, and a joy shared is a double joy.