One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 61:3. "to grant to those who mourn in Zion - to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified." This prompted me to write a song a few years back. I included the video here but you can also see it by clicking the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC-Y3c1sC1I&feature=youtu.be. (it is definitely not very good quality, but it's just the lyrics I wanted you to hear) Anyway, the basic concept is based in Romans 8:28 " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." When I wrote that song I was in utter and complete brokenness. It was right before I went and received transformation at Mercy Ministries. I was utterly broken without the will to live. It was a cry and a plea to hang on to God's promises and beg him to bring beauty from my life. I thought that maybe God could make my story and my past disappear and make a beautiful something out of me. It was a long shot at the time but God defiantly went above and beyond in my life.
While I was at Mercy Ministries (check them out here: http://www.mercyministries.org/) God spoke to me. He told me that he had an amazing plan for me. He showed me that my prayer had been heard. Basically Jeremiah 29:11 became real to me. "For I know the plan I have for you declares the LORD plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God told me that there is something planned that he is preparing me for daily. But recently I have wondered if that was really true. Perhaps I was meant to live an ordinary life. Maybe it was my dream and not God's. You see my life, while filled with beauty, has been very ordinary, if not even bad, over the past few years. When I came home from Mercy Ministries, while I had gained hope and a true relationship with God, I had also lost a lot. Within the past two years (the time it has been since graduation) I lost my boyfriend, my best friends, the physical death of a spiritually inspirational woman who had become like my second mother. I lost my job, my car, my father lost his job, and his health. It has been one thing after another which lead me to believe that I wasn't meant for much.
But today something hit me that prompted me to write this status, "You ever think that God has this crazy plan for your life? Not because of you but in spite of you." It made me think of the people who God chose in the Bible. People like Rahab who God chose to keep his people safe in the promised land. Did she get her crap together before God used her? Did God simply overlook the fact of her daily profession? Dare I say, that God chose her because she was a prostitute. He saw her in what she was. He didn't just overlook her profession, her chose her because of it. Like with Moses. Moses was a murderer. Moses was living in the desert farming. While he may have had a productive childhood as the prince of Egypt, he was nothing now. Do you think that God appeared to him in the burning bush because Moses had spent years studying God? Did God simply choose to forget that Moses was a murderer? Did God just overlook that Moses was a terrible public speaker? No. God chose him because of those things. God wanted us to be able to see what He could do.
I was speaking with a friend earlier and this is what I said which I think perfectly sums up this post. "But you know what...this all kind of goes along with my status. It;s like God has this crazy plan for me. And it's not because I have what I need, it's because I don't. It's because my dad is sick, it's because I have no money, it's because of my past, it's be cause of all of the terrible things that I am the perfect person for God to use in this situation. God has such a great redemption story planned." It's like God is going to use all that's going on right now to bring a beautiful redemption story out of my life and others lives. It's so cool being able to see all the puzzle pieces come together. It's like the puzzle is just a jumbled mess but God is bringing it together into something more beautiful than I could imagine.
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